Jacob and I have a running list of careers I should never, ever attempt; mainly because of my supreme lack of human-to-human courtesy, but also for other reasons like lack of basic kindergarten skills and fear of four-legged domesticated creatures.
So far, we have…
1. Guidance counselor – Obviously.
2. Nurse – I love to say “Suck it up!”
3. Waitress – I’d be the one to spit in your food, Non-Tipping Pompous Bastard at Table 12.
4. Pastor – See #2.
5. Librarian – I can’t alphabetize without singing the entire ABC’s song. Aloud.
5. Mailman – I’m afraid of dogs. Actually, this fear alone disqualifies me for quite a few professions, but definitely a mailman. Also, I hate walking.
What can’t you be?
All I can say is that you HULarious. You’ve got me cracking up over here- and that’s saying something- it’s only 8am and already I’m covered in wet cheerios and brown smooshed bananas!!
Ooh…this is good. Ok, from experience I can say that I can not ever do anything, ever again, with teenage girls- I spent a season and a half coaching a dance/flag corp for a marching band a few years ago and remembered exactly why I left high school running in the other direction. Little ones are fine…but high school is out, out, out.
he he he.
some of my definitely not’s:
accountant [numbers, money. enough said]
seamstress [which really breaks my heart. If I could measure, cut, or sew straight I would LOVE to make our clothes...I dream about them]
secretary, one that answers phones [I am not nice enough, or patient enough]
school nurse [I would pass out with every case]
I could never be someone else’s office assistant, I would get sassy.
Do research – been there, done that the number game bores me to death
Work in a clothing store – can’t deal with the condescension or stupidity of the average customer.
Full time stay at home parent – my hat is off to you ladies and gents, I think I would go nuts.
Telemarketer – I could not stand disrupting pp’s lives and then I would have to be rude back when they could not simply hang up or show a modicum of human decency.
I love the point about being a librarian – nice to know I am not the only one who has to go through her alphabet, plus I hate alphabetizing things.
I love reading your posts.
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