I know I haven’t been posting lately. It’s for a lot of reasons, really. Reasons I can’t get into right now. A sort of strange existential crisis? Family crisis? Personal crisis? Chasing a toddler? Tiring of winter? Feeling blah? Yes. Yes. And yes.
Oh and also, Poppy is doing this now, so I find escaping to open my computer really hard to do these days.
I hope to return soon. I have a lot of writing I’d like to be doing right now. It’s just finding the oomph to do it. Spring, come quickly!
Now that Poppy’s first birthday is passed, I feel such a sense of relief. I can hardly explain it. Celebrating the end of her babyhood this weekend brought on sort of strange, yet welcomed, emotional release. I’m not kidding.
It started when I spent all of last week looking at pictures of her first few days in the world. I stared for long, long periods of time at her tiny hands, her dark squinty eyes, her wrinkled skin, and her jerkish movements on video. By the time Sunday rolled around, I felt a total sense of release, like a weight lifting from my heart. Again, I’m not kidding. I cried a few tears alone that morning, but then things started to change. Even the way I look at Poppy today is different. She’s full on into toddlerhood and I am finally okay with that. Did you hear me? I AM OKAY WITH THAT.
Even during the tough times and sleepless nights, I think I did a pretty fine job of staying present in every moment this past year. I don’t regret ANY decision, not even the bad ones. I can close this chapter on our lives and say that it was a very well-spent year. It was rich and full and crazy and rewarding and difficult and joyous and long and short, and well, you get the idea.
We are on to toddlerhood and so far, I like it alright. Poppy did lick the toilet seat today, but hey.
You mean the world to me and Daddy.
This year has been the best year of our lives.
You are our Rose.
Our Pearl.
The spin on our world.
Even the stars make their wishes on your eyes.
The way you grow so fast reminds me to stop everyday and be grateful.
When you learn something new, I am proud. When you fall and get hurt, I am sad. When you feel silly and giggle, I smile. When you are, I am too.
Happy First Birthday, Poppy!
Yes, I know this song is old news to you kids, but I’m posting it anyway.
Because I love it and I love my girls.
Penny and Poppy sitting in a TREE
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
I heart them.
I’m sorry, but when did we get from here,
To here?
There are six days left until Poppy turns ONE and the tears have already been flowing over here. Mine, not hers. I love this little girl and I love who she is becoming right before my eyes. What an amazing year. She has enriched my life in more ways than I can ever say.
Sigh. ONE!
No matter how much time goes by, no matter how old I grow, no matter how big the commercial giant gets, no matter how liberated women become, I will never ever hate Walt Disney for his Princesses.
Belle is a personal favorite of mine and Poppy’s, as you may recall. And now with this new Christmas gift of Princess dining ware, we are spreading the fairytale joy to mealtimes too.
Behold, an obsession.
Poppy will be ONE year old next week and I’m dying over here. Dying of joy, heartache, pride, love, sadness, and excitement all at the same time.
This little Booger Butt is the most wonderful kid I know. She is as stubborn as hell and as cute as a button, which, frankly, creates a balance so perfect that at least once every day she comes within inches of her life’s end and somehow manages to smile at me in a way that makes all the BAD go away instantly.
At story time the other day, she was chasing after a boy trying to steal his stacking rings. Oh Poppy. She sat down in the middle of the circle of children and reveled in her victory, munching on each and every ring as though it were made of Toblerone. And she doesn’t even know what that is!
As she was playing, I saw her look up from her toy, scan the room, and search the faces of all the mothers and children. Finally, her big beautiful eyes landed straight on me. On me. Where they stayed for a few moments and melted into a beautiful grin across her chubby cheeks. A big “Hi” and then she was back to the rings. For that moment, I felt like the most important person in the whole world. I know she won’t always have this kind of admiration for me. I know someday she’ll hate me for something. I know someday she’ll grow up and be independent and busy.
But for today, just today, I am her world and oh, man. It is incredible.
Poppy is 11.5 months old and not napping.
Which means I am not blogging.
Or eating.
Or bathing.
Or thinking.
To make matters worse better, I have this Adam Green song stuck in my head…
I was just about to sit down and write a blog post about something – anything – this morning, as I heard a ruckus coming from the kitchen. I walked into the next room and found a very irritated little kitty. Following the trail of CatChow pieces, I then found a little eleven-month-old with a mouthful of soggy cat food.
So, not today, Internets. I need to go throw up. Gross.
I love my husband because he
*stayed up late last night to do the dishes
*got up early this morning to shovel the driveway
*spent nine hours at work to provide for us
*came home to a stir-crazy baby and wife and still has the energy to make this amazing memory…
When Poppy was born, this blog, along with just about everything in my world, became all about her. In an effort to keep up with this way of life, I present to you a Poppy Update. Complete with photos and witty quips!
Poppy Anne is 10.5 months old now, but who’s counting? I mean, who cares that she is a mere 1.5 months away from the big ONE YEAR OLD. I mean, no one is crying about that yet, right?
A week before we were set to move to the new house, Poppy woke up during the night with her first high fever. She was so pathetic, and cute, at the same time. The three of us snuggled on the couch and watched Lord Of The Rings at 4AM. A few days later, Poppy sprouted this nice pair of pearly whites. Her first teeth!
Poppy is on the move these days. She can walk along furniture, crawl forward and backward, and pull her self up on the most dangerous of apparatus, including our television cabinet. She has been testing her balance and even took two unassisted steps into my arms last night! She loves to walk with Jacob on the new set of stairs we’ve recently acquired.
Poppy is saying lots of new words…
Mama (YES!)
Dada (She yells this one)
Ouch (This one is super cute to listen to)
Night Night (Which is cried through tears, “Ni Ni Ni Ni”)
and Meow (in her cutest, most high-pitched voice)
Poppy survived the move much better than her parents. She played with Aunt Amy all day and slept like an angel on the first night in her new room. I give this kid BIG props. She loves her new house already, as evidenced by the trail of mess she so lovingly leaves wherever she goes.
Speaking of sleeping, our champion girl sleeps straight through the night and takes two naps a day, which makes me both extremely lucky and very SANE. Lovey is still Poppy’s closest companion (after Cheerios and Raffi of course), and if not for this little blanket, life would be so rough for our Princess.
Poppy has also learned to hit us when she’s upset. It’s so hard not to laugh when we say, “Poppy, you may not hit,” and then she stops, looks back and forth between us both, gets a glorious grin across her face, and then WHACK! I can’t even tell you how many times in the last couple of weeks that Jacob has turned to me and said, “How the hell am I going to teach her to stop doing this?” Then she turns and smacks him again and we have to leave the room so she can’t see us laughing. And crying.
I could on and on about my tiny Poptart. She is growing into an amazing little person. I love to watch her learn new things everyday. She’s my pal and my buddy. She’s been a trooper and a joy as our family works to settle into a new place. She is leanring to test boundaries, explore her feelings and her wants, and the best of all? She is learning to love. She gives hugs when you ask her, and she finds quiet moments during playtime to turn around, crawl into my lap, and sit awhile while I kiss her soft forehead.
Babyhood is behind us and we are quickly moving on to the Bobbler stage. And this Mama couldn’t be more excited.
Tomorrow!
Tomorrow!
I love ya
Tomorrow!
You’re always
A day away!
Tonight as I sat around the table(s) with my dad’s side of the family for our annual Thanksgiving Eve dinner, I listened to each and every family member say aloud what it is they are most thankful for this year. As it rounded the bend to my turn, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. It was amazing to speak the words from my mouth and share my heart with my family. I am thankful for my husband, whom I love. I am thankful for our daughter. I am thankful for our new home. My husband’s job. We have so much to be grateful for this year, but the best part? The only part? Having a family to share my life with. That is what I am most thankful for.
Happy Thanksgiving
I sat outside Poppy’s door tonight and listened while Jacob rocked her little body to sleep and sang sweetly to her…
There is a castle on a cloud
I like to go there in my sleep
Aren´t any floors for me to sweep
Not in my castle on a cloud
I love this sound more than I can express. But I guess if I had to explain it, it would go something like this – colorful rainbows wrapped in teddy bear hugs with oodles of chocolate syrup pouring from mountains of candy with newborn babies and kittens running naked through fields of Enya CDs.
This is why I still only have 0.5 boxes packed so far…
