Maybe it’s because I’ve seen more pink than I know what to do with in the last year and a half. Maybe it’s because yellow is my most favorite color. Maybe it’s because I really wanted to name this daughter Sunny, but was vetoed by well, the whole world. Or maybe it’s just because I look at this blanket and I imagine wrapping her warm little body in it and snuggling her close. Yeah, maybe that’s why I bought it.
[Image from Marang Studios's shop on Etsy]
It’s been an intense few weeks over here at the Wadenpfuhl house. Not the summer I was expecting to have. I’m trying to go with the flow, love my family with all my heart, find quiet moments of rest for baby Clare’s sake, and keep up with my growing girl Poppy in every way.
So, I’m tired. And prioritizing like nobody’s business. Making real time for real life people. Slowing down, being more present, staying healthy. I’ve cut out unnecessaries like Facebook, television, a perfectly-ordered home, pride, selfishness, and feelings of inadequacy. And instead I am focusing on my children, my husband, and our extended families. That’s it. Sometimes so many people need me and the only way to be there for everyone is to stop, slow down, and be brave. To go forward lovingly and intentionally knowing that everything that doesn’t matter will fall away. This concept makes more sense in my head than on paper, I think. But the idea is simple. Life is too precious and people are too important to let busyness get in the way. I am grateful for this lesson.
So if you are looking for me online, I am still here at Crunchy Cursive, of course. And I also keep my Flickr photostream fairly up to date. If there is one thing in my life that never stops, it’s all the adorable photo opportunities that Poppy presents in her quest for eternal cuteness.
I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,
And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.
I step very softly,
I walk very slow,
I can’t do a handstand–
I might overflow,
So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said–
I’m just not the same since there’s rain in my head.
[It's not actually raining here today, but it might as well be]
I made a music mix for Poppy when I was pregnant with her, and she still listens to it nearly every day. I think it’s never too early for good music, and I love telling my kids that they have special songs picked out just for them. Songs all about their unique personalities and my love for them. Because who doesn’t need to feel like David Bowie is singing only for her every once and a while?
Introducing…
Clare Alice Wadenpfuhl.
She’s still itty bitty – just weighing about a pound – but she is growing healthy and strong everyday. I am 23 weeks along or so and looking forward to her coming more and more everyday. It’s taken me a long time to feel “ready” to have a baby again. I kept trying to slow down the time. I pay little attention to how many weeks and days I have left. I forget that she’s in there sometimes until I feel her little kicks under my ribs. Or until Poppy walks over and lifts up my shirt and hugs my big, round belly. Doesn’t mean I’m not excited, I just feel so much more relaxed and patient with this pregnancy than my last one. I don’t mind biding my time until October when Clare will arrive. I don’t mind the little secret that she is growing in my belly. It’s kind of nice, just her and me right now, sharing my body and growing together.
We’re teaching Poppy to say “sister” and “Clare.” Though the words have little meaning to her, I like to think she knows something is coming. Otherwise why are Mama’s feet looking like water balloons these days? And why, oh why, did half of the drawers in my dresser get cleared out? And for goodness sakes, who is this Clare girl they keep talking about?
Clare’s name means bright and brilliant. Alice means true and noble. I am so excited to see who this little girl will become.
Happy Father’s Day!
Poppy is closing in on being one and half years old and her vocabulary is really blossoming. Some words she uses [and their respective translations] for you to consider…
Off [She saves us tremendously on the electric bill. She is obsessed with turning off the lights and fans whenever we leave a room. Daddy's influence here?]
Bye-Bye [She won't stop until every person in the store has said good-bye to her. She'll yell it across the parking lot if she has to, dammit]
Ummy Bapple [Yummy apple - her current favorite fruit, though strawberries run a close second]
Boppy [Poppy, her name. Uses it to mark her possessions and let us know that clearly, we should NOT BE TOUCHING THAT BLOCK IT'S MINE!]
OK [She doesn't say "Yes," she says "OK." Isn't that cute?]
Baby [She loves to hug my belly and kiss the baby in there, her most beloved younger sibling. Ah, blissful ignorance]
Outside [She would spend her life outdoors if we'd let her. The back door is her portal to heaven]
Boo-a-Boo [Peek-a-Boo, with twice the BOO!]
Truck, Jet, and Car [Department of Transportation, meet your newest enthusiast]
Work [That horrible place Daddy has to go to every day]
Buh Boo [I love you]
She’s growing so fast. I’m watching her connect language and meaning and it is really extraordinary. I’d say she’s a genius, but I’m her mother. Her pooping is genius to me.
We’ve set up a little corner of our bedroom for the arrival of Baby No. 2. Click here to see how we put the space together in a loving and very thrifty way.
I will be 20 weeks on Monday. So amazing. I am finally starting to feel better and have been eating again! Fruit, fruit, fruit. And occasionally rice with soy sauce. Lots of soy sauce.
My belly has really popped out quickly this time around. I guess they say it happens with second babies. Second baby! What? Who? Me? AH!
I love feeling the tiny bumps and flip flops in my tummy. When I take some time to do yoga in the afternoons, Baby always joins in. It’s our little special time during Poppy’s naps. Just me and Little Boots, doing yoga.
I can’t wait to meet you, Baby.
Today I made a salad with spinach and arugula from our backyard garden. So I really can grow something in a garden! My thumb is green, finally.
How delicious the spoils of hard work and uber-local ecology taste with some fresh mozzerlla and a vinegar dressing. Yum!
So, we’re not quite here yet, but we have a vegetable garden and I’m so excited!
While having tea and pie with my grandma last night, she said to me “Gardening is the most wonderful thing a pregnant woman can do. You have to get your hands in the dirt and just work with the earth. It will relax you and refresh you. You won’t be able to stop. I’m telling you, there’s nothing better.”
Jacob, Poppy and I spent all weekend working on our flower and vegetable gardens. We have so many new plants in the works. Tulips, forget-me-nots, wildflowers, POPPIES!, spinach leaves, peas, peppers, tomatoes, and strawberries to name a few. I’ve never planted anything in my life before and the experience has been surprisingly fulfilling and kind of addicting. I want to keep digging and planting. Little by little, year by year, we will grow our garden and feed our family from our own backyard. That is just so cool!
Just about every plant in our little garden is a gift from a friend or family member. This is truly a community garden! The forget-me-nots were originally from the garden at my grandma’s apartment. My mom took some of them for her garden. Then just yesterday my mom split some of the beautiful blue buds and gave them to me for my garden. Amazing, right? The tulip bulbs were a house-warming gift from our friends. The veggie sprouts are from their over-flowing baby vegetable garden too.
These small beginnings have me so encouraged. I love to watch things grow. The beauty of nature is truly stunning, especially when I get to see it to fruition.
I’m watching Poppy grow at speeds so fast that sometimes I have to stop, spin around, check that my underwear is keeping up, and continue running forward as fast as I can as to not lose track of the days, weeks, months flying by. Poppy is developing such a sense of adventure and curiosity of the world at large. She likes to see what objects around the house will balance on each other. She likes to feel paper, fabric, and especially crunchy things. She likes to run barefoot in the grass and on the neighbor’s garden path. She listens to sounds all around her and she hears Daddy walking up the porch before the cat even hears him. Poppy runs away from me when we’re out at the park. She scampers away to hide between the endless rows of books at the library. Try as I might to cling to her, she is learning independence.
The other day, I was remembering back to a post I published with the manifesto The Idle Parent by Tom Hodgkinson. And holy crapadoodle. This thing is amazing. And even more super amazing now that I’m living it out with this independent kid-child-girl.
And just as I was re-reading this manifesto, I stumbled across Lenore Skenazy’s blog Free Range Kids. And again, I say holy crapadan. I’m so happy people like this exist in the world. People who remember how they grew up and don’t feel afraid to say “Hey you SuperMom, let your kid be a kid for one second!”
Parenting is hard work, especially the constant I-Am-Responsible-For-This-Human-Being-At-All-Times nagging feeling. If I take Poppy out in public, there is a tremendous stress I feel to be constantly parenting her. Making sure she isn’t causing a disturbance or breaking some unwritten rule of society. Is she picking that kid’s NOSE? Making sure she is on her most perfect behavior so the woman at the deli will be happy with us and offer Poppy a piece of turkey to get us through the rest of the shopping trip. Or the stress to always be presenting a kid who is well-mannered, adorable, and likable. Ugh, likable. I hate that word. But it’s true, I feel this kind of pressure as a parent. And this pressure fights against my desire to treat Poppy with respect and to let her be who she is – a spunky, funny, inquisitive little toddler. That is so important to me too. It’s hard to balance my two Mom Suits.
Good manners, yes. Respect for others, absolutely. But cookie-cutter kids with no kid left in them? No way. Not for us.
I don’t know where I’m going with this post. Guess I just got a little crazy because I’ve recently added caffeine back into my diet. And so here I am on the Internets rambling about parenting.
Peace.
Our dear friends, The Team, helped Poppy to make this finger-painted print for Mother’s Day.
Each member of our family is represented by a bloom, including even the tiniest bloom growing on me.
Yes indeed. God is good to us.
